Thursday, January 31, 2013

Valentine's Day Reminds Me of God's Love

by Donna L. Watkins

With Valentine's Day on the horizon, I've been flashing back to a photo taken on July 4th, 2012, since it was such a victorious day for me. Other than needing to gain a few pounds and build my strength back, I was free of all symptoms from the heart crisis. The 25 lbs. of fluid were gone; the racing and erratic heartbeat was gone after I agreed in prayer for it to return to normal; I was off the oxygen and ready to return the machine; no drugs or supplements being used; and I was able to sleep flat in my own bed instead of the guest room; and many more things that I still rejoice in. Just being able to eat without nausea and not care how much sodium is in a food ... on and on.

Asiatic Lilies - Daniel Stowe Gardens, Belmont, NC
It's good to remember the victories as we move through life, so when the devil tosses something else in, we can see that it's all lies. That's why Israel built memorials to remember things. When God split the Jordan river and Israel miraculously crossed into the promised land to fight for their inheritance, the Lord had them bring twelve stones from the middle of the river and pile them up on the other side. This was a memorial to future generations. God is bigger than any disease name. I was and am filled with awe and praise of our Father who made provision for healing so long ago. [Read: Healing Is Part of Salvation]

All we have to do is believe it and receive it. I would think that would make all of me well at one time, but I've heard many that were healed from long-term diseases say that it took a period of time because the disease becomes part of you. I will rest in Him and continue to focus on His love for me and to spend time picturing what I'll be doing when I am totally healed.

People ask me if I think the heart problems have been healed. What can I say? I can't look inside me and I'm certainly not going to pay more medical bills just to get a confirmation. As long as I can live life again with energy and endurance and feel even better than I did before the heart problems, that's good enough for me.

The doctor told Randal to call Hospice because there was no way my heart had enough functioning to deal with all the problems I was having so there would be no change other than for me to finally drown in the fluids that were increasingly building within my body. I normally weighed 120 pounds so I had already gained 21% of my body weight in fluids.  I had refused surgery six weeks before and had spent many weeks in bed before going to the doctor.  Even turning over was a major event.

Am I healed?  I believe so.  I have not arrived on the subject of healing, but I understand a whole lot more than I ever have, and the main point being that God Wants Us Well (this is the book that turned my understanding of healing around). Until we believe that in our heart (not only in our minds as knowledge) we will not have a faith for being healed.

God Is My Refuge
That's What I Think When I See This Photo
Brookgreen Gardens, Murrell's Inlet, SC
The more healing stories I hear, the more I realize that not many are instantaneous, which is what I have so wanted for my whole body. But when we seek Him with our whole heart, He will meet with us and give understanding. I've spent regular morning time with God since I was saved in 1976, but it was one of those things I did because I wanted to please God and also wanted to know the Bible more.

Now my entire being is motivated just to have a deeper relationship with my Heavenly Daddy.  There seems to be no limit to God's love and I want to spend my time seeking His face and being able to comprehend through His revelation the amazing love He has for us.  [Read Ephesians 3]  The God of the Universe wants to fellowship with me.  That's why we were all created!  One of the main things we have to know in our hearts is the love of God. Faith works by love so we have to understand His love for us. [Read: God's Kind of Love]

I believed in healing for many years and prayed for healing, but certainly didn't seek God with my whole heart just for Who He is. And what I thought was belief, was only a brain storage file of knowing that God could heal, but there wasn't much evidence that I had seen. We Americans are so multi-task oriented that we tend to want God to operate on our time schedule. That didn't work for me. When I began studying healing, I realized what I believed was mixed with doubt and unbelief which tipped my faith scales to the opposite side of results. Jesus said so many times, "only believe," or "according to your belief be it unto you ..."

The road seems to be long for us analytical and detailed people. I also have never been great at receiving. I love to give instead! But I think not being able to receive is linked into pride in some way and that's something Holy Spirit has gently pointed out to me. Think: "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6). It's not until we realize that in ourselves we can accomplish nothing, but in Christ it has already been done.

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