Thursday, June 3, 2010

Relationships: Men vs. Women

by Ron Carpenter

Studies have shown that men’s and women’s brains are formed differently. When we are in our mother’s womb, about four months into the pregnancy, baby boys get something baby girls don’t—a full testosterone bath. That testosterone bath inadvertently short circuits the part that connects the two sides of the brain. So, women are literally more capable of quickly processing things, back-and-forth, from one side to the other.

My wife (Hope) loves this because, as she shares at our marriage conferences, this is why women can generally multi-task much better than men. A woman can talk on the phone with a baby on her hip, help kids with homework, keep dinner cooking, plan tomorrow’s meal, and keep laundry going all at once.

On the flip side, because men truly have a deficiency there, a grease fire can break out in the middle of watching SportsCenter and we don’t even know it! That testosterone bath severed parts of the nerves connecting the two lobes where logic and emotion are processed.

This also explains why a man can be talking on his cell phone driving, and his wife can tap his shoulder and say, “Baby, you’re going to miss your turn, you’re going to miss your turn.” The husband will snap, tell her he knows where he’s going, but then get back into the conversation and completely miss every exit.

Heck, we men probably even miss our own driveway once in a while. Not understanding that, a wife can get so frustrated, not understanding how her husband can get so locked in and have such a hard time moving back and forth between emotion and logic.

Relationship Builder Action Step: Learn to take a step back in the middle of conflict now that you know this and relax! She’s not trying to boss you around. In reality, you’re just brain damaged from birth, and she’s trying to help you!

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