Thursday, January 8, 2009

Why Guys Can't Cry In Grief

When it comes to the loss of a loved one, not everyone can feel emotions the same. There are a number of reasons feelings do not get expressed.

Firstly is the personal belief to what feelings are, or what it would be to express feelings in a vulnerable fashion. Growing up some people are taught to try and ignore feelings, that feelings make you weak, and your are not strong if anyone sees you express them. This persons lack of expression can be due to this belief being instilled in him.

Not only does the person have expectations of his or herself in this situation, there are perceived expectations that the people around him, place upon the person as well.

Children learn from parents at a very early age how to express yourself. Whether it is through peaceful self reflection to extreme outburst of anger, children learn how to feel by watching their parents feel. If a child never sees a parent cry, then it is harder for the child to know how to properly express these feelings, as well.

Some of the more intellectual types complicate matters further by trying to analyze what is going on with our hearts. I admit, I am one of these, but I have recognized that the need to understand something can be another facet of denial. This safety feature carries over to my day to day life. I compartmentalize my feelings and do not express them until I am alone and to what stimuli I am reacting to. I find this is the best way I can protect myself emotionally. Read the entire article.

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