Tuesday, October 23, 2007

How God Chose My Husband

by Donna L. Watkins

The day this is posted will be my sweetheart's 53rd birthday. We'll be on a convention cruise that we earned from Nature's Sunshine Products. My hubby loves to cruise. I tolerate it since I do enjoy getting to see friends and I get a lot of walking in. Every cruise we've taken I've come back weighing less or at the most a pound more. This time we have a balcony which I will enjoy tremendously since I love to have fresh air around me. Listening to the waves splashing while I drift off to sleep will be delightful.

To surprise my one great and terrific man, I thought I'd tell all the world our love story. God had a special plan for both of us in bringing us together. He always says that he got things in his wife that he didn't even know to ask for (and he means it in a good way), but I tease him that my list of 21 items was not long enough. You'll have to read the rest of the story to know about the list ......

I was living and working in Atlanta. Randal came from Oklahoma City for various sales schools in the IBM Education Building where I worked. I remember him inviting my friend and me to a party at the end of one of the classes, but we declined. The schooling process took about a year, so he was patient knowing that he would be back.

One day in the hallway he stopped me and mentioned he'd be back in two weeks for another class and wondered if he could give me a call and get together. My only response was, "What for?" Randal says that he was glad he had completed a few sales schools so he didn't skip a beat in his response. His answer was, "For a coke and some fellowship." That's an answer I never had before so I certainly had no training to stand on. I said, "Sure." He asked for no phone number and that was the end of the conversation.

At the time I was studying Spanish and was breathing and dreaming it because I liked the language. I was in touch with friends in Mexico that I'd met prior to taking the course so I used it anytime I could which included answering the telephone by saying, "Bueno!"

Randal had come back to town and proceeded to look my phone number up in the phone book. There were several Powell listings and he had gone through them all but one without finding me. He called the last option and when I answered in Spanish, he figured he may as well hang up ... but he didn't. (All that sales training, right? :-)

Our first date was early November and we were married early April of the following year. This may not seem too odd except for the fact that I never intended to get married. I had dated a guy for 3 years and another for 4 years, but would not consider marriage. I still have no idea how all of this transpired mentally other than to say it was just Providence. This was surely the man of my dreams, right?

At one point while we were dating I did come across a piece of paper on which I'd written 21 things in a man that I wanted. Reviewing them, Randal had 19. In case you're wondering what he didn't have, it was black hair and being a great dancer. Actually most of our dating was talks on the telephone since we lived so far away.

Randal bought me a beautiful locket with a diamond chip from Bailey, Banks and Biddle for Christmas. I thought it rather extravagant for knowing me such a short time, but when I left for Spain with my Spanish class for New Year's Eve, I was thinking about getting him something while I was there.

What a challenge it was for me to come up with what to get. I looked at leather things and practical things and I kept going back to a jeweler down the street from the hotel. There was an 18K gold cross there that was very unusual and hollow with open ends. I thought it was unique, but Randal had been a Christian since childhood so I figured he had a drawer full of crosses and I didn't want to add to it. Randal had just led me to the Lord shortly before leaving for the trip. There continued to be a tug towards that cross and the only logical reason I could come up with is that he wouldn't have an 18k gold cross since gold in the USA was generally 12K or 14K, so I bought it.

Randal didn't know that my return ticket had a diversion from NYC to Dallas before returning to Atlanta. We had talked on the phone at the airport and I gave him that telephone number to call me after my flight came in from Madrid. That was when I would surprise him and tell him I'd be arriving in Dallas in the amount of time it would take for him to get there. When I got to NYC the terminal that the telephone was in was locked down. Closed! He was going to be calling from work since they allowed use of the line after hours for long distance calls. That was still in the days of switchboards, rather than entering a extension number, so there was no way for me to reach him.

Dragging and hauling my bags around the airport trying to find some way and somebody that could let me into that terminal seemed to take forever and it was getting close to the time my flight was to leave for Dallas. I did get in, I did get the call, and I did fly to Dallas, and Randal did meet me. Providence again, I'm certain.

Late that night I gave him the gift I had purchased and he opened it and had a strange almost shocked look on his face. I rehearsed again what I'd already said many times in Spain, "Oh! Another cross!" He recovered quickly and said he liked it and I left that behind. The next evening he asked me to marry him. I was a bit shocked and said I'd have to think about that. In the meantime, he wanted to tell me a story. So I listened to this:

"Since I was a teenager I have prayed for my wife. That she would be safe and God would watch over her and prepare her for our marriage, etc. While I was in college I began asking the Lord how I would know my wife when I saw her. After one of these conversations I remembered the Bible story about Abraham sending out a servant to find a wife for Isaac. (Gen. 24) The servant upon arriving near the town well with his camels prayed, asking God for favor and to know which of the daughters of the townspeople was to be Isaac's bride.

The servant asked the Lord for it to be that when he said to a girl, "Please let down your jar that I may have a drink," that she says to me, "Drink and I will water your camels also," that this be the one you have chosen for Isaac. Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came with a jar on her shoulder, went down to the well to fill it, and on her way back, the servant hurried to meet her and asked his question. She gave him a drink and afterwards said, "I'll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking."

Upon pondering this Biblical scenario, Randal asked the Lord to do the same for him. Not having wells or camels, his "sign" was to be the first girl that gave him a cross. So .... you can see I was a bit off on how I translated his reaction to the cross, but I was certainly right to bend to the strong impression in Spain that I was to purchase it.

Oh! To hope that I would have the servant's heart that Rebekah had. The Bible tells us he had 10 camels, which can drink up to 21 gallons of water in 10 minutes. She volunteered for quite a bit of dipping and hauling for a stranger, but what a great reward she had. She became the beloved bride of Isaac, inherited the wealth of Abraham, and became the mother of the nation of Israel.

The example that Rebekah sets is that whether we realize it or not, our actions and attitudes determine our future. So the next time you get an opportunity to serve, think of Rebekah. God may use it to get you to the next level of living. Always do more than is required of you and do it cheerfully.

You  may enjoy this book, "Praying For Your Future Husband - Preparing Your Heart For His."

For the guys, who may be seeking a wife, keep this Scripture in mind:  "Seek not a wife" (I Cor. 7:27).  Just as God brought Eve to Adam and Ruth to Boaz, He will give you good wives if you will seek Him first and not a mate.  A wife is a good thing according to Proverbs 18:22: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD."  Seek the Lord, and He will give you the right wife and she will be a good thing.

Author Bio
Donna lives in Central Virginia with a wonderful husband and a cat named Squeek. She is a lover of God, nature, wildlife, birds, gardening, photography, travel, simple living, natural health, pets and seeking a peaceful, healing lifestyle. Life has many hurts and sorrows but within "the [divine] nature in us" we CAN overcome. You can also find her posts on  and Twitter.

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57 comments:

wendy said...

Thanks for your story. It is truly inpirational. I am waiting for God to choose my husband. I have been saved or a Christian practically all of my life. I always knew God would send my husband. But it was not until now that I started to seek God five days ago for him. I am excited as to what God is going to reveal. Thanks again... And, God Bless!

Anonymous said...

That is a very beautiful story! God bless you both. x

Anonymous said...

Very inspirational story. Thanks for sharing. I am believing God for the man of God that He has for me. In my times of impatience I will remember it is "he who finds wife" not she who findeth a husband.

Donna Watkins said...

We visited a church while on vacation last week and the message was about relationships and how singles need to use the time they have "alone" for wise things to prepare for a husband.

To learn skills that will be useful in a home and marriage, to get finances in order, and spiritual life built up. All the more to bring to the marriage table. Kinda ups the value of "the catch."

And the more you know spiritually the more you'll know if it's an equally yoked match. One thing to really pay attention to is how the person acts/feels talking about God and being in church.

The pastor mentioned to make sure you have similar goals. If you're truly opposites, it's going to be a struggle to walk as one.

Tanya said...

This is a beautiful love story that gives God the glory and all readers a message of how to live. Thank you for sharing. I am waiting for my beautiful love story to be written. I believe that God has released my husband, I am just waiting for him to appear to me. I am encouraged by your story because I was just in a relationship that I had the opportunity to give more than required and to do it cheerfully. I also had the opportunity to show God's love to someone who hadn't experienced it. For that I am truly grateful. Now I am ready for the beautiful love story.

Elma said...

It was an amazing story! Im so happy for both of you. It's my prayer that God will give me the right husband too. Please help me to pray

Slivena said...

Thank you so much for the wonderful and very inspirational story!
I was wondering how exactly did God reveal his will to your husband? How did he give him the sign that the first girl to give him a cross would be his future wife? Was it in a dream or was it something else?

Thank you in advance!

Donna Watkins said...

He'd been praying for a wife for a long time and looking and looking .... and read that story about Eleazar going to get a wife for Isaac, Abraham's son. And God told Eleazar it would be the woman who would offer water to his animals.

So, Randal decided he'd quit begging God for a wife and asked Him to let him know it was her by her giving him a cross. Although at the time he was dating somebody that he didn't want to marry (another Christian) and asked that it not be her. LOL

Anonymous said...

I have tears in my eyes. I...want to be an awesome wife. For a specific God chosen man. But I'm becoming weary. Your love story does give me some hope. Still standing on Jeremiah 29:11. Thanx a milli for sharing.

Anonymous said...

This story is very inspiring.. God will surely give signs & wonders before hand. God has already designed that special someone for us before we were born. he knows everything!

just ask him for his perfect "WILL" to done in your life! And watch him guide you into his perfect plan he has already ordain for you.

Spouse/Family/Success, he will give you your hearts desire.. it will come to pass. God said your latter days will be greater than your beginning. Keep the faith never give up on God!

Donna Watkins said...

Thank you for that encouragement to all who read it!

Anonymous said...

I'm 35 and still single :(
I was told god called me to be single to serve him lol - people not god said he called me lol - bottom line I gave up on god providing me with a spouse
If he did call me to serve him instead of getting married - I will let my no be no!

Donna Watkins said...

Don't judge God by what people say about Him. There are many who can speak of the god they know ... but it doesn't mean it's the True, Holy and Loving God, the Creator of the Universe.

When things don't go our way, we sometimes try to justify the disappointment with some religious statement .. by placing the blame on God, or spiritualizing it as if sacrifice will explain it away.

Fact is, we are free will agents of our lives. We can choose to obey, follow and listen to Him or we can go our own way and make our own choices. Waiting is not something well used in our current American society, but we are only human, and if we submit our lives to God, His wisdom is always better than our own. When we look back, we can see how much good there was in the process, IF we don't lose the hope within us.

God's design was for marriage as is evidenced by His comments after creating Adam and the animals ... "it is not good for man to live alone."

I pray you will join with your True friend (Jesus) and follow the way to the man who will be your life partner. I have a friend who was 39 when she married and AFTER the fact ... she was glad she'd waited and not given in to less than she wanted or give up all she'd learned during those years. She got better by choosing not to be bitter.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful story!! I am 35, currently single and waiting on God to send the one that He has chosen for me. I am encouraged by your story, because I know God is at work, even when it can't be discerned with the natural eye. There is a guy that God allowed to come in my life, that I'm currently not talking to right now, because my feelings are,if he's for me God will work it out without my meddling. Just like the prayer your husband prayed, we experienced "signs" as well. Ironically his first name is mentioned in the store that your husband purchased your necklace from!! Please keep me in your prayers, that I allow God to bring the right man in my life!! I truly care about him, but I only want who God desires for me!!

Donna Watkins said...

Sometimes God uses signs, sometimes just the Spirit within us, and other times we just know in our "gut" whether it's right or wrong. A wise elderly godly man once told us when I was 31:

when in doubt, don't!

That has always served me well.

God will guide if we allow Him to, keeping our emotions out of the mix.

Anonymous said...

How wonderful is God's gift of love.

Anonymous said...

what all does christian dating include and exclude? my boyfriend and i want to practise christian dating.

Donna Watkins said...

I picture Christian dating as what we've seen in "old time" movies. It was called courting then. Staying pure for the man you will call your husband since God designed each to have only one person to call "one flesh" for life. It also allows you to base your relationship on the "real" life, rather than an emotional and physical one. That will be much more important in the days ahead since hormones are not as steady as daily life. It's certainly not the culture of today, but much of what is being done by Christians in our day is not Biblical. Many justify that by saying the Bible wasn't interpreted correctly ... or with a belief that God loves and forgives no matter what. Yes, He does, but we still end up with the consequences of sin. It's a law of the universe, like gravity. God does need a sledge hammer to punish us. We punish ourselves by our actions and choices in life.

Anonymous said...

I am 34 and single. Also waiting for the man that God has chosen for me. The Lord gave me a wonderful word 2 months ago (Hab 2:3) and that excited me tremendously. Now I just have to wait and can't help to wonder 'how long'? Am I allowed to ask God how long? That is a bit impatient right? I've never had this kind of love in my life and am aching for it, and this is making me impatient. What to do?

Donna L. Watkins said...

If our heart truly seeks the Lord and a close relationship, I think God allows us time to develop that so that He will always be first. He did create man and all things for His pleasure, and it must be sad for Him to watch everybody seeking their own pleasures in this world.

Obviously you have developed a relationship with Him, so He will guide and make all things come to pass in their time. It may be that He is still preparing (working with) the man He has chosen to fit you perfectly. You wouldn't want to take bread out of the oven before it had risen ... we don't want a spouse until He is fully baked. :-)

I think the longer we have to grow in Christ, the less strain and strife there will be in the marriage relationship. Some couples grow in Christ while married and it's a difficult thing ... one that leads to much divorce as we know from statistics. Your waiting on HIS timing is a wise thing!

As to the question ... I have found that God doesn't seem to answer those questions regarding time. To Him time is endless and He sees from the beginning to end so it's not the way we see time and life. His focus is not on bringing you your life partner as much as it is on making both of you the image of Christ for each other. I've found that when I focus on the "end event" and spend way too much time praying and dreaming of that ... it only takes longer to get to it. Focusing on TODAY has been a discipline I am still working at in my life.

Anonymous said...

Am so glad after reading this inspiring story, have been praying 4. my God given husband for many years but would end up dating & feeling its a mistake then I end up calling it off but was becoming tired of hurting innocent souls. am now going to ask 4 a sign & this is d last am breaking a heart. thx 4. sharing ur testimony.
To the single ' delay is not denial'
blessing

Paula South Africa said...

For a story shared over 4 years ago, to still have this effect on so many readers is truly amazing. As so many others have thanked you for your tale of hope, I also now give thanks to our heavenly Father for His grace and perfect plan for our lives. Small mercies every morning, reminding us of who He is and how much He loves us. If He gave us His Son, what would He keep from us.. May we not be discouraged by the pressures of this world but remember His timing is perfect. Love, Paula

Anonymous said...

Thank you Donna for this post and to all who shared...I too am waiting [37 and waiting] and of recent at times I grow weary...this morning being one of those days and I wanted to know if there were others like me [for I felt so alone]...I feel encouraged being reminded of God's promises...Like your husband my prayer has been just like Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac that the Holy Spirit would minister to and send the one God has ordained for me to be my life partner...I also remind God that He said it was not good for man to be alone...Even though I have my trying moments I dont intend to give up hope...of recent I have been talking and sharing my feelings with God a lot [not that He doesnt already know]...I ask that you will join me in prayer on this matter...please respond...my heart is overwhelmed within me...

Donna Watkins said...

I think you're on the right track. God longs to hear from us and be our best friend. Yes, He already knows how we feel, but when we can lay against Him and allow Him to take our burden we rest in His love and know that He has a plan for us and that it will come to pass for good. In the meantime, always be alert to what God has for NOW! Not just when you're married. Now is the time you can build a super close relationship with Him which will eliminate all the loneliness. "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen." 2 Peter 3:18.

Anonymous said...

Hello,

My first post was September 20, 2009 and I was waiting for my love story. I'm blessed and grateful to God to announce that I have my love story. I'm 36 years old and I'm getting married this year. This is truly a praise report because my story began when I least expected it to. It's not perfect (neither of us are) but we are striving for perfection on our journey together as we seek God. My words of encouragement to all those who are waiting for their blessing to come, keep God first and build a relationship with him that can not be broken because that strong foundation will keep you when things get rough in your personal relationship (with anyone but especially your spouse). I'm excited about the blessings that God has in store for us as we prepare to make vows to each other. Please lift us in prayer as I ask God to bless all those who read this blog with the desires of your hearts in the name of Jesus.

Blessings, peace, and love

Donna Watkins said...

May each one of us have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is for us. It will only serve us well in any relationship.

Anonymous said...

Dear Donna, it really is tough! if you are an African women early 40s never been married with kids and know that you have been so waiting on God and there is no cloud the size of a hand and you cannot imagine the taunts..from people you help take care of...Anyway..God knows it all! Your loved ones who are selfish send sms to tell you they have babies and do not bother to send you wedding pictures....It's tough!

Anonymous said...

it is ok to ask God how long...He is a gracious Father, He will respond...just be open for the answer...

Anonymous said...

Wow, are you serious? That is truly the most amazing testimony I have ever heard, so far, in my life and proof that God exists. Congratulations to the both of you and God bless you both forever in Jesus Christ name. Amen!

Anonymous said...

Well said Donna....

Anonymous said...

There is one guy, who I’m not physically attracted to and I find him annoying. However I think he is the one God has chosen for me. Like Donna had said, God hasn't finished working on him.. He is still in the oven.. lol.
On many occasions I have asked for a sign, and each time I have asked I have got one... I guess I keep on asking as I can't see it happening.
The last sign was when I parked in a car park of about 250 cars, and only one space was available, and guess who it was right next to... I had only asked God the night before to show me a sign in the morning, and he sure did.

Guess I will just forget about it, and what will be will be. Leave it all in Gods mighty hands.

Anonymous said...

It's 2:48am and I'm up thinking about the husband that God has for me. I'm a 38 year old virgin. I'm not lonely or saddened by being and living alone. I have a friend , we've been courting (dating) some time... I guess I'm wondering about time frames. If God meant for us to be would this process take this long? I too have a list and have had a list for years and well that was one reason why I kept dating him and keeping my eyes on Kingdom business but, a part of me wonders if I'm blocking a blessing in others. I say this because three months ago we decided to only date each other and for the first time in forever I do feel a little lonely at times. God does grant me comfort and I find myself seeking Him more so it causes me to believe the Lords pruning me. I just don't know - this morning I'm in quest and question and questioning. I just don't know. And because it's a man who finds a good thing (wife) do I even have clearance to be in wuestion?

Donna Watkins said...

You do some good pondering with the Lord. I listened to a spiritual message a few days ago about discerning God's will and it mentioned we hear God spirit to spirit .. not through our minds. What we sense by instinct and what we have a peace about should rule what we do. "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts" - Col. 3:15. Maybe imagining yourself married and getting a sense of how that feels would help you to know/decide what direction to take? Here's the audio series on Hearing God that I was listening to. Here's an article on Hearing God that gives you some of the high points also. What a blessing to read of somebody who has found satisfaction in our Father to the extent that you have.

Anonymous said...

hi Donna!
i have been looking for testimonies like this to strengthen me. i had recurring dreams about a certain young man so i asked God what it meant and a voice kept telling me the boy is supposed to be my life partner. i asked for a special sign from God just like eliezar did during a retreat. immediately i stepped out of the retreat venue, d first thing that happened was the sign i had asked God for......
i was overwhelmed.
after several years the young man made contact with me but we had a fight and went our separate ways.
a lot of other signs kept coming up too. for instance, one day as i walked along and decided to marry a different person than the dream guy, a man i didnt know came up to me and advised that i marry the other man.....ie the dream man.
i get so discouraged. i used to feel God was perfecting us for each other but right now i just feel so confused cos i feel the guy strongly dislikes me.
this is one of the greatest challenges to my faith.
i have severally tried to forget this guy and start out on my own but each time, i remember him again the cycle of worry and doubt begins again.
i feel very tired and frustrated and that comes from anxiety i feel about this.
i want to stop planning for God. i just want it to happen without any physical or mental effort from me.
i am tired of asking for signs because 1million may not make me believe.
i am exhausted. i just want to live my life and not have to worry about him anymore till God's will is done.
i need to stop trying to be so good or perfect for him or trying to let him see how good i might be.
i've asked God to sort his candidate out and when they are ready, they can reach me. or maybe i'm the one who needs sorting out.
i hate to be a complainer. i pray i ses my promise land!!!!

Donna Watkins said...

I think you're on the right track. If you truly want God to choose your mate, He will have no problem getting it done. When we get mentally and emotionally involved we lose perspective. The verse that comes to mind is to "delight yourself in Him and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Ps. 37:4) What God wants most of all is a love relationship with us. That's why He created man in the first place. He delights in the prosperity of His servants (Ps. 35:7), so He wants good for us. I'm sure you've already thought of "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Mt. 6:33). The devil can't keep us from salvation ... but he sure can mess up our walk with God with his deceit and wrong thoughts. While your mind is on this person, you could miss the "one" walking by and delay the whole deal. It's work, but we can keep our minds in neutral and let God be God and direct our paths daily. That would be my prayer throughout the day ... direct my paths, Lord. I want to walk only in Your footsteps! May you find peace in the midst of His arms and may His love totally overwhelm you!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing, you've inspired me.

Anonymous said...

Thanks a lot.Your story is not just a story,it has got the anointing of God on it.Holy spirit led me here.And very happy i came.Thank you and God bless you.

Anonymous said...

God Bless you Donna and your wonderful soulmate also. I thoroughly enjoyed your article. I will also recommend one on the same page I found yours: "How to Recognize the Husband Sent By the Devil." Christians need to know that we are not of this world. We cannot chose like the Hollywood lot. We cannot choose based on emotions. The most disobeyed commandment is "Tarry." That is for people who truly follow Christ. The sad thing in churches is that persons who spent years in Lodebar, when we get saved expect God to stop what He is doing to "make us happy." Questions: 1. Have we purged ourselves from the weaknesses of this world sufficiently? Only God knows that. Are we prepared and as you mentioned "baked enough" for God's purpose? God gives the best--when we are prepared. He prepares the best and He gives the best. How do we prepare: Seek ye first, not second, not third--the kingdom of God and His ways of doing things and then after that, everything will be added. He will direct our paths. Wonderful inspiration you are. God would never give a serpent if we ask for a fish.

Bless you all who wait patiently on God. Sowing ( a timely donation to a struggling couple ) also moves the heart of God. After all, faith without works is dead. I am sure there are couples who walk or take the bus to your church. God will direct you to give a ride to a couple who live either near you or on the same route. The Kingdom of God is based on sowing and reaping-- not only on asking.

Donna Watkins said...

What a blessed comment. Thank you for dropping by and sharing your wisdom and commitment to Jesus first. Sadly Hollywood does rule with many people's decisions in many areas of life. But that's because the church has become a "theater" where one person directs and speaks, and the rest file in to partake and leave. The body of Christ was never meant to be in such a structure and never was in the original New Testament church for hundreds of years. It implies we are only spectators, not participants and Ephesians 4 tells us different. The church today as a whole has little on discipleship as Jesus instructed.

Titus 2 tells us to: "Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled."

Those are not the ways of our world/church today and sadly the entire family looks to the media for direction, which the devil freely provides. The Word has been misinterpreted when talking about wives being subject to husbands, and wives have swung in the opposite direction for lack of love and nurturing. Eph. 5:22 tells us we must submit to our husbands, but it's not a one-way street. This is certainly a topic to be discussed with any potential marriage partner. There's a good commentary on this verse that should be studied for this topic: Ephesians 5:22.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing and encouraging many singles out there like myself who have been waiting a long time. I believe there are always lessons during the wait. I spent almost 3 years waiting for someone because of 'signs' I THOUGHT were from God. But after no fruit came out of it, I realised I had been deceived because of my own strong desire for the relationship. My desire for a partner had become an idol.. it was taking centreplace in my thoughts and prayers. Christ was not my centre. Our Father can certainly lead us with signs, my key lesson from my painful experience is this:

If you are full of worry and anxiety about a relationship or a potential relationship, be VERY cautious about asking for signs, because we women are likely to interpret anything and everything as a sign confirming what WE want! I believe the enemy takes advantage of our desire for the love of a man because matters of the heart tend to consume us, often causing us to take our eyes off Jesus.

I am now learning how to wait on my Father, feed on Jesus' love and most importantly, REST. In the meantime, I told the Lord I'm taking a break from signs. :)

I pray the the Lord will bless all these precious single daughters of His who have posted here with a man who loves Him and loves them.

Thank you Donna for taking time to encourage many.

L.

Donna Watkins said...

Thank YOU for encouraging many! It's very easy to get to the place where what we want is an idol and it's very evident if we think we can't live well without it. Our spirit and soul will never be satisfied with life from any human ... we must first find our ALL in Him. It's how we were created. Thank you for sharing your learned wisdom with others. Father, bless this Godly woman with the man You want her to have.

Anonymous said...

Praise the Lord! This is such an anointed page.
It is so easy to get caught up in the expectations we put on somebody else to be our God given husband. The truth is, we will only ever know if a man is right for us when God tells us, so if the Lord doesn't tell us, it's not meant to be.
We need to bask in his presence. Overwhelm ourselves and excite ourselves with the truth of God, and that is, he is Amazing! He is completely For us, always with us, and always has our best interests waiting and ready for us. He chooses carefully our relationships, as they will one day share in our prayers, they need to be perfect and ready. He is blessing, training, anointing, preparing, lifting, moulding, painting and inspiring your man - so wait in patience, for this IS for YOUR best interest. In times of loneliness, curiosity, impatience, restlessness - ask God for another blessing in your life. Engage yourself in more mission work, volunteer yourself for his Glory, keep your self busy, worship 24/7, cook for others, bless others. Time spent with the Lord is never wasted. We are here to serve. We have been given our daily bread, now eat sisters. If you are searching for Love, let me tell you, there is no greater love than the Love that comes from Jesus.
I'm a single Lady, waiting for my husband. I KNOW God will bring him at the most perfect time. But first, my quest is to offer all glory and praise to God, who sent his Son to die for me, so I could live in Freedom and be reunited with HIM in the beauty of Heaven.
Please pray for me as I wait for my Husband. Yes, I struggle too, I admit this, but then I give it to my Jesus. The Lord is my rock, I will lean on him in times of trouble and wait for HIS Blessings. I pray we all share ourselves completely with our Father.

Donna Watkins said...

Praise the Lord ... your message is anointed too! :-) Thank you for encouraging all who visit and for so faithfully waiting on the Lord while you bask in His presence and experience the joy and peace only our Father can bring to our hearts and soul. Bless you for taking the time to add your words.

Christina Bethke said...

Beautiful story! I know I've heard you tell it before but I didn't remember all of the details! Just makes me smile.

Anonymous said...

Tnks Donna, dis is sooo inspiring. Recently I became a bit scared and nervous cos most of my friends were getin marid. Im 27, blessed wit beauty and hav a sucessful career as a lawyer but iv neva dated anyone in my entire life which many of my friends see as weird or simply dat i hav a problem. They beliv d myth dat its hard for a female lawyer to get a husband wen she is above 30( im African). D truth is i told God many years ago dat d man i will eva date should be my husband. Wen d recent doubts as to d choices i made came up, God comforted me by leadin me to ISAIAH 34:16 "...non will be without its mate. God has given the command so his spirit will gather them together"(ncv).
This greatly gave me renewed assurance and trust plus d fact dat God showed me how he has been workin and is stil workin on many areas of my life and wen i look at d old me, i no i would hav suffered a lot of heartbreaks and messed up relationships by now were it not for d decision i took. Rite now i no singlehood is not a curse, im enjoyin every moment, givin my time to d work of God and humanity while coperatin wit Him to mould me into a virtous woman whose spirit will be guided to 'd one' in God's own perfect time.

Donna Watkins said...

That's an incredible story and I think you're well on your way to being a virtuous woman by trusting our Papa to fulfill His promises. We have to believe the Word above all else. It's the believing that brings it to pass and believing is easy when we know how much God loves us. Too many people and Christians don't know how good God is because they are still seeing Him in the Old Testament. We have a new covenant through Christ and God has always been love. This is a great article that dabbles a bit on the matter. There's a link to listen to the entire series of The True Nature of God also.

Anonymous said...

Donna,
I was really touched by your story! I'm 20,single, and asking God to choose the man He has for me to marry. I'm learning to be content where God has me in the meantime. I used to be so focused on finding "the one" it worried my parents. I would jump into relationships without seeking God on the matter. I made a lot of mistakes along the way like thinking finding my husband would make all my dreams come true.Slowly, I'm trusting God and letting Him lead my life.

I know I have a lot of maturing to do (continue my education, be financially stable, learn house duties and improve my cooking skills, etc) and want to learn more about myself before God sends my husband into my life. I don't know if he's in my life now or will arrive later, but I'm continually trusting God show him to be in His timing. I don't want to meet the guy and fall in love like they do in the movies. I want my husband to be a man after God's heart and be to be my friend first and then develop a relationship.

Donna Watkins said...

Sounds like you've got a lot of wisdom already for your age. God is obviously speaking to you and you are willing to listen. How much more abundant life is when we learn to listen at such a young age. I wish I could say that was so for me. I wasn't even saved at 20 and had no interest in God at all. Talk about mistakes .... :-)

You've also got a good head on your shoulders with the goals you listed. You will be a woman of virtue for a truly great man. God wants to give us the best and when we're willing to watch and wait for that, we are rewarded with more than we can think or imagine.

Anonymous said...

Dear Donna, your life story is inspiring and makes me to really wanna trust and wait on God the more.I've had two failed relationships of 3 and 4 years respectively, now I'm trusting God to lead me to my husband and to be found by him, but sometimes confused about asking for signs and being sure that it is God and not just my heart that is deceived. There is this guy that presently matched the sign I asked for but I'm not yet sure if I can give in, would it be wrong if I ask God for another sign? Would it not amount to doubting God and thereby sinning against him? May you remain blessed ma.

Donna L. Watkins said...

I understand about asking for a "sign" since Jesus said in Matt. 16:4 and 12:39 that "a wicked and adulterous generation looks for a sign ..." God wants relationship with us - intimate relationship so that we know when we hear His voice. Jesus wanted Israel to see their Messiah by what He was speaking and the things He was doing. A sign wouldn't have made a difference for them. They were into religion and the law, not relationship.

Sometimes the devil gets in the way of providing signs when we ask for them. John 14:26 says, "But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in My name, He shall teach you all things." We live in a world where people don't quiet themselves down enough to hear God. "Be still and know" (Ps. 46:10) and Jer. 29:13 informs us that "You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart."

For me those are much more sure promises of Truth than a sign. :-) I pray this will enlighten your spirit to your next step in relationship with Him. We grow in this throughout our entire lives and never arrive, but the key is to stay on the path of seeking Him with all of our heart. He never hides from us and He always understands our longings for a life partner ... but maybe that longing should first focus on being truly His so that you can truly be somebody else's helpmeet.

Thanks for visiting the blog and commenting! May God's peace reign in your heart and mind! Love and Hugs, Donna

Anonymous said...

Donna.. How beautiful you are in Jesus to" help" one another in the way you are. I've been married and divorced.. and ever since, about 4 years, have been praying for the Godly man God is preparing for me. Being the one to divorce over a lonley, platonic like marriage... I felt undeserving of true Godly given love in a 2nd marriage. I haven't been as faithful in His promise, with worry and doubt, but I've been praying for His guidance and to "be still in Him.." and simply let go and let God work on the man for me while I work on me. The one thing I noticed is that when I stopped to lean on Him, I read the Bible searched and even found YOU.. my sister in Christ who totally (thru Him) gave me such extra encouragement - I can't even tell you, except I'm bubbling over with joy thanking God, and have peace about it. I also thank God for ALL the other sisters in Christ who struggle with me for their Blessings of encouragement and wisdom thru Jesus. It's amazing how if we just let go, God actually WILL CARRY US..
Please do pray for me too if you get a chance.. I'm also a bit overweight and that can't help much, grin.. Working on it though! :). May God continue to bless you and yours all yours days.. A.W

Donna L. Watkins said...

I definitely think you're on the right track! Knowing God FIRST is the most important relationship you can form and recognizing that you can work on YOU while God prepares your perfect match is a great focus to have ... (and that never means that the person is perfect .. God still perfects us through our husbands :-)

Seems the folks I've seen succeed and maintain the best weight loss have chosen a specific number of calories a day and then they eat good foods, but allow themselves a treat now and them. The key is that portion size is reduced. There are electronic calorie counters. My husband did this method to get rid of his extending belly.

Prior to this method, he would lose it in summer and then put it right back on in winter. Couldn't go too far because we made a vow to not change clothing sizes so we wouldn't need to buy clothes until they wore out. Just one of our many budget tips that provided a great side benefit of never being able to get very far overweight. But as you know with men, those pants and belts can slip under that belly and they can get pretty far along before the seams start to stretch at the pockets. LOL

Obviously it makes the grocery budget go a lot further also. The only flaw in this is for addictions. Specific foods that your flesh/mind can't do without (or so it tells you). Chocolate was my downfall and in 1998 I said this is it! There was no moderation with me and chocolate so I gave it up with God's power behind it. See my blog post: My No-Chocolate Anniversary

Can't wait to hear how it all comes about when you meet that super duper guy!

Shirah Hein said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Donna L. Watkins said...

God always lets us choose because He made us with freewill so we could choose to obey or not. Adam chose not to obey God and although God had created a Paradise for His Creation, He stood by His design for freewill and the entire Universe now suffers for it. But God will not lie or call "Kings X" when things don't go His desired way.

Jer. 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" By our heart, we often mean what we are feeling and feelings should never dictate any decision. Our 5 senses are necessary for life on earth, but our spirit is the part of us that is supposed to rule in this life, so that we make the right choices based on Truth and not emotions.

Confusion will keep us from being able to hear God. It's not that He's not communicating with us, but we simply aren't tuned in to receive it. We must come to a place where we can truthfully say, "Whatever thy will is, Lord. I do not want my own way, but Your way for my life." You can still choose against the way that you think God is leading. It won't keep Him from loving you and wanting a relationship with you. God IS love ... He doesn't just love, He IS love, so you can't drive Him away no matter what you do. Jesus died for your sins before you ever committed them, so they have all been under that blood shed for you ... past, present and future sins, all forgiven. It is finished.

Often we focus too much on our earthly mate when we haven't come to the point where if it's only God that we love through our entire life, it will be okay. We were created to love and fellowship with God. That was His purpose for us. He desired love and to give love. When He becomes our all in all, we will be able to discern everything so much better and not live in confusion. :-)

Shirah Hein said...

Donna:

I appreciate your answer. However, I think I was simply asking if God gives another mate, if I no longer have the connection with the one He first told me about? You are right, you can't go by emotions and I will be fine no matter what. I was wondering if God gives you a couple of mates to choose from or He has one and one only in mind. Hopefully this is a little clearer.

Shirah Hein said...

Oops! I forgot to add something. A friend of mine said that God would not have told me the first mate was to be my husband because God sees beginning to end. However, the first mate rejected me and after five years of waiting, I got to the place where I was completely fine with it. I think you are on to something though, even though I don't have the connection in my spirit as I used to, because it was in the spirit, doesn't mean God can't put it back again??? Simply put, I don't want an Ishmael. I know God will reveal in time.

Donna L. Watkins said...

I don't know that God has a specific mate for each of us. It goes along with the free will attribute. For some there is a destiny calling for a specific person, but destinies are individual plans and purpose for life.

Maybe the best way to ponder this is a phrase that one wise elderly gentlemen in a church we went to in 1982. He said, "WHEN IN DOUBT, DON'T!" So it's about what you "know in your knower."

One Scripture describes this: "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." (Col. 3:15) As we offer thanksgiving for blessings around us and praise God for who He is, our spirits will align with Him and you will know which way to go. Consider Isaiah 30:21: "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”